Old Smokey

Old Smokey

Smokey the Rabbit

“Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.” That was the only thing I heard. It’s all I remember. I guess the last laugh is mine cause I didn’t feel a thing. It got warm but I was already catapulting away from it all before it could get really hot. That was what I feared the most. I hate the heat. Now I am here. Its dark and smells like dirt but I am still me. Wha....? Wait a minute... Maybe I am in my grave. Buried alive! Holy crap I didn’t die and they screwed up and buried me anyway! No..NO..NOO! Wait. Wait...stay calm. Something ain’t right bout that either. Gota calm down. Cool my engine a few degrees. Okay... we are cool as a cucumber. Good. I am moving around in here so I can’t be buried alive. This is some sort of tunnel. I can smell an exit. Odd, how the hay can I smell an exit? Let me get outa here first then work on that mystery second. Good call, there’s the way out. A few more hops and... huh? Hops? Why in the name of Mary am I hopping. Holy mother of god I am a freaking rabbit! Ho crap, ho crap ho crap! Okay...okay... Maybe this is some sort of brain spaz or something. Ya! Ya that must be it. I am still in that chair being bar-b-qued and this is some sort of short circuit. Okay okay, stay calm. This is major weird but it could be worse. Atleast I feel okay and I’m not hurting here. So I think I’m a rabbit. So what, what does it matter. Let me outa this hole and into the night air. Ahhh, thats nice. Freedom at last. Two years in the clink and another seven months of hell on death row, I will take this as a gift. Rabbit or not, I am free. Ha haa! Look at me go would ya. I can run like the wind! I feel so alive... this is freaken big. Yeah baby, Flippin Peter Rabbit ain’t got nothin on me!

Whew. My heart is racing. Gota slow down here and regroup. There is a nice bush I can stretch out beneath. The ground feels cool and nice against my fur. I could get used to this. Besides, if I was a rabbit, how come I still remember everything bout being a man? Makes no sense. Lets see, what can I remember. They talked real quiet like with me but I didn’t say a word back as we made our way to the room old smokey was in. There was some preacher there, walking with us, trying to save my soul. Laughable! I sure ain’t got one of those. The room was small and smokey had a mirror infront of it. I could see my reflection but I ain’t no fool, I know there were people watching on the other side of that glass. I didn’t care, let’em watch. I was strapped and locked into smokey’s lap, so I wouldn’t kick myself off when the juice was turned on. Last thing they did, slip that hood over my head. It smelled like bounce sheets. Nice touch. Then the humming sound and presto, I am the rabbit pulled out of a hat. Now I guess I just wait this out and see. If I am still being zapped and this is a grand daddy trip I am on, then it won’t last forever. Hey, these leaves smell kinda good. Might give’em a try and see. Hmmm, not bad.

Well, its been almost the whole flippin night now and I’m still Bugs Bunny. This can’t take this long to get fried. I am getting tired and have a strong urge to go back into my hole. I know exactly where it is to. Don’t even have to try to think about how I might retrace my steps to find it. I just know. Instinct I guess. Well, off I go.. Lets see how fast I can kick it out and hit my top speed. And I’m off... Man oh man it feels good to run like this. I wish I had something to race against. Hey, yeah, how bout that shadow on the ground moving just ahead of me. That will do nicely. Must be a full moon or somethin to see a shadow at night. I wonder what’s making that shadow, it’s movin just as fast as me. Looks like a plane or maybe a... Holy cripes it’s a giant bird! Not good! NOT GOOD! Evade! Evade! Ah no.. I can hear it.. It is getting close! Argh! It burns IT BURNS! There are claws rippin inta my back! IT HURTS! NO! A FRIGGIN OWL! ITS TEARING ME OPEN WITH ITS BEAK! I’M ON FIRE.. MY BODY IS TWITCHING AND KICKING BUT I CAN’T STOP IT! IT BURNS SO BAD! AHHHhhh...

About the Author

Sick of my 8 year old coming home smelling like a smokey tavern after playing at his friend's house.?

My 8 yr old son keeps getting invited over to another little boy's house. The problem is that the boy's parents are chain smokers and my son is exposed to 2nd hand smoke. The last time he was there I couldn't even bring his jacket into our home because it smelt so bad! I finally told my son he can not play there anymore. We invite the friend to our house as often as we can, but how do I handle the situation when the boy begs for my son to come over???

Speaking as someone with asthma and emphysema, I encourage you to help your son avoid ALL the contact you can, you may prevent him from ending up like me some day.

You have every right to be tough about the issue. It makes me sick knowing that the other child is breathing that crappy air day in and day out, and his parents couldnt care less.

Thank you for being aware of the issue, for your childs sake!

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Various Artists - Baby Genius: Favorite Toddler Tunes $6.97 Disc 1:I`m A Little TeapotAlphabet Song, TheI Found A PeanutHey Diddle DiddleI`ve Been Working on the RailroadLittle Boy BlueOld King ColeOn Top of Old SmokeyLittle Bo PeepO, Where Has My...

Chandelier $13.28 Disc 1:Out of the Same ThingOne RecordHome AgainMore Rude Than HandsomeLeen, TheElectric Furs of a LynxMoonlightLonely CityNew DayTime of the YearGood Old Smokey (My Kanine)On M...

Harry Belafonte - Midnight Special [3/17] $12.86 Disc 1:MIdnight SpecialCrawdad SongMemphis TennesseeGotta Travel OnDid You Hear About Jerry?On Top Of Old SmokeyMuleskinnerMakes A Long Time Man Feel BadMichael Row The Boat Ashore

Smoke& Spice $10.81 This second edition of a beloved classic includes new recipes and many variations on the old ones. Recipes are for such dishes as Triple Play Tube Steak, Kentucky Burgoo, Stew on a Stick, and cooling desserts.

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JAR Designs 'The Huntley' Smoke Sofa $1630.99 The regal hunts of old inspired this high-winged back sofa for the contemporary royalty that is you. 'The Huntley' smoke sofa from JAR Designs features a 1.8 density foam with a premium Dacron wrap for ultimate comfort.

Shadow Riders (Paperback) $9.25 In 1874, after their father is wounded by hard men who have stolen a number of mares and Smokey, a prized stallion, sixteen-year-old Rob McCann and his adopted Native brother, Luke, ride frantically to Fort Ellice, Manitoba, in the vain expecta...

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Sleepytime Songs $11.41 One-third of the folk trio Peter, Paul & Mary brings his love of folk songs to a new generation with a gorgeously illustrated book and CD set that includes Kum Ba Ya; Down in the Valley; On Top of Old Smokey; Puff, the Magic Dragon, and other songs.

Smokey $8.86 Smokey the train runs away when he overhears that he will soon be forced into retirement. Smokey has some amazing adventures until he is finally returned to his old train yard and given a new career. Colored pencil and ink illustrations accompany the...

The Pioneer Woman (Paperback) $10.09 "That`s when I saw him—the cowboy—across the smoky room." I`ll never forget that night. It was like a romance novel, an old Broadway musical, and a John Wayne western rolled into one. Out for a quick dr...

Arda Glass Allure Alabaster White/Smoke Individual Bowls ( Set of 4) $48.99 Enjoy the beautiful dance of the colors with this Arda Glass bowls set. Each piece combines century old traditional techniques with innovative, progressive and unique inventions in glass production and decoration.

Play All the Music in This Book With These 3 Chords: G, C, D7 (Paperback) $8.86 Over 40 songs that can be learned in a day by mastering the 3 chord trick. Includes Red River Valley, Clementine, Kumbaya, Michael Row The Boat Ashore, and On Top Of Old Smokey.

Return of the Mountain Man (Hardcover) $10.1 Harboring an old grudge, Smoke Jensen arrives in the town of Bury, which was built on stolen gold, to exact revenge on a band of ruthless men who all had a hand in murdering his brother during the Civil War. Original.

National Youth Jazz Orchestra - These Are the Jokes $14.54 Disc 1:Still Doing the Trick With the Horse, Madam?First Time I`ve Seen Dead People Smoke (Smokey Eyes)Keep Looking Young-Hang Around With Old PeopleChef`s Rash Has Cleared up Nicely, TheMuch Too MuchNo Hair...

Craig Duncan and the Smoky Mountain Band - Country Mountain Melodies $12.43 Disc 1:Red WingO Susanna/Camptown Races: O Susanna / Camptown RacesMidnight on the WaterCindyWildwood FlowerWhen You and I Were Young, MaggieMy Old Kentucky HomeNine Pounder HammerUnder the Do...

Hank Thompson - 20 Greatest Hits $13.78 Disc 1:Wild Side of Life, TheSix Pack to Go, ARub-a-Dub-DubOn Tap, In the Can or in the BottleWake up IreneCab DriverHumpty Dumpty HeartSmokey the BarBlackboard of My HeartOlder the Violi...

The Best Children`s Songs Ever (Paperback) $10.09 This latest title in our famous Easy Electronic Keyboard Music series features 100 all-time favorites for kids, including: Beauty and the Beast * Bein` Green * Bingo * Camptown Races * Edelweiss * Greensleeves * It`s a Small World * On Top of Old Smoky...

Willie Nelson - Remember Me Vol. 1 $9.89 Disc 1:Remember MeSixteen TonsWhy Baby WhyToday I Started Loving You AgainI`m Movin` OnThat Just About Does ItThis Old HouseSunday Morning Coming DownSmoke! Smoke! Smoke! (That Cigarette

Smoke and Mirrors $8.9 Sixteen-year-old Simon has always been considered odd. Three years ago, a skateboarding accident caused some minor brain damage and made him a little stranger. His career-driven parents mostly leave him alone, and he spends much of his time living...

Where There`s Smoke (Paperback) $11.13 Trying to put his past as a drug dealer behind him, Alec, formerly known as Smoke, runs into one of his old clients, who, now a successful businesswoman, claims that he is the father of her troubled teenaged son who is heading down the wrong path. Orig...

William Parker (Vocal) - The Listeners $19.31 Disc 1:Mourning Scene from SamuelHe Who Gets Slapped "Pantaloon": BalladSummer and Smoke: Anatomy lessonPeacock Pie: The ship of RioPeacock Pie: Old shelloverPeacock Pie: Cake and sackPeacock Pie: Tilli...

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Smokey $8.86 Smokey the train runs away when he overhears that he will soon be forced into retirement. Smokey has some amazing adventures until he is finally returned to his old train yard and given a new career. Colored pencil and ink illustrations accompany the rhyming text.

Old Smokey $22.49 Old Smokey A Truly Unique Look! Includes: A great half mask with a latex band to hold securely in place. Easy and comfortable to wear. Makeup is not necessary but can be used to blend the edge. Available Sizes: One Size Fits Most Please read valuable information regarding latex products .

Live in Old Smokey [Bonus Tracks] (Import) $37.28 Live in Old Smokey [Bonus Tracks] (Import)

Old Smokey OS18 18in. Old Smokey Classic Charcoal Grill Accessory $72.81 The classic Original Old Smokey. Yes it s the same one you remember The small 18 unit is the perfect size for 46 people at the beach on a picnic and even to take camping. It s our best seller Lightweight and very packable. For those perfect charcoaLed hambugers hot dogs or grilLed chicken this is your cooker

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Old Smokey BCC1 Old Smokey Can Chicken Holder Grill Accessory $29.63 What a marvelous device this is. Now you can cook chickens a brand new and delicious way by using the Old Smokey Beer Can Chicken Holder. Pictured is the basic unit with a can in place. We forgot to open the can for the picture or maybe we were afraid the photographer would start drinking the beer and turn in bad work. In the next photo the chicken has been seasoned and is on the grill. There s still about half of the beer in the can (wonder where the rest went?) and of course the can is open. As the chicken cooks the steam from the beer flavors the chicken inside and out. And finally the finished product. No time to type it s time to eat

Live in Old Smokey $14.16 With the recent emergence of black female artists cast in a similar stylistic mould - in particular the UK's own Des'ree and the USA's India Arie - the kind of cultural and musical cross-pollination that Linda Lewis pioneered some 30 years ago is now an a

On Top of Old Smokey $5 This book is in Like New condition

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The Great Smokey Roadblock - $4.99 Not everything Henry Fonda did was Grapes of Wrath or Mister Roberts. In the enjoyable low-budget "road" flick The Great Smokey Roadblock, Fonda plays a worn-out trucker named Elegant John. Anxious to make one last, big haul before retiring, Fonda loses his 18-wheeler to the repo men. He steals his rig back, then further thumbs his nose at the law by hauling a group of prostitutes across the border as a favor to his old flame, bordello madam Eileen Brennan. This rollicking film ends on an unexpected--but logical within the framework--tragic note. Filmed in 1974, The Great Smokey Roadblock lay on the shelf for nearly two years. Despite a plethora of illnesses, Fonda is in fine fettle, delivering one of his sprightliest latter-day performances. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi

Smokey and the Bandit II (DVD) $8.9 Burt Reynolds stars in this second installment in the "Smokey and the Bandit" saga. This time the Bandit is hired to transport a pregnant elephant from Miami to the Republican Party convention in Dallas. But old rival sheriff Buford T. Justice will do whatever he must to prevent Bandit from getting that $400,000 fee. And this time Buford T. has some relatives to help him in his search, his brothers Reginald and Gaylord -- all played to the hilt by the incomparable Jackie Gleason. To add to Bandit`s troubles, his co-pilot on the job is his former girlfriend Carrie.

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Smokey & The Bandit Pursuit Pack - Widescreen $12.99 Includes:Smokey and the Bandit (1977), MPAA Rating: PG Smokey and the Bandit II (1980), MPAA Rating: PG Smokey and the Bandit 3 (1983), MPAA Rating: PG Smokey and the Bandit "Smokey," aka Sheriff Buford T. Justice (Jackie Gleason), is the prospective father-in-law of unwilling bride Carrie (Sally Field). The Bandit (Burt Reynolds), a maverick racecar driver, makes an 80,000-dollar bet that he can transport a shipment of Coors beer from Texarkana, TX, to Atlanta within 28 hours. It's important to note that in 1977, it was illegal to sell the Coors brand east of the Mississippi River without a permit; if we don't note that, then the plot won't make sense at times. Already in danger of arrest from redneck lawmen like Buford T. Justice, Bandit furthers his chances at a stiff jail term when he offers a ride to Carrie, who hopes to escape her unwanted wedding to Justice's boy. The rest of the film is one long chase; not quite as subtle as a Road Runner/Coyote cartoon, not quite as restrained as a Three Stooges comedy. Universally panned by critics upon its first release, Smokey and the Bandit reportedly pulled in just under $126 million and led to two sequels. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi Smokey and the Bandit II Former stuntman Hal Needham made his directorial debut with the first Smokey and the Bandit (1977) and repeated his success with the sequel, a virtual remake that substituted a live elephant for a truckload of beer. Burt Reynolds returns as law-defying anti-hero Bandit, now a washed-up alcoholic whose girlfriend Carrie (Sally Field) has left him. When a pair of eccentric, wealthy brothers named Big Enos (Pat McCormick) and Little Enos (Paul Williams) approach Bandit with an offer of work, he and trucker pal Cledus (Jerry Reed) jump at the chance. The gig involves transporting an elephant to the Republican National Convention in twenty-four hours. The wrinkle is that the pachyderm is about to give birth -- any minute. Enter "Doc" (Dom DeLuise) a bizarre medical man who joins the team to care for the expectant mother, and Sheriff Buford T. Justice (Jackie Gleason), who has not forgotten the humiliations that he suffered during Bandit's last "mission." Needham's films were instantly forgettable cocktails of car chases, car crashes, and lowbrow humor. Reynolds and Needham teamed up over a dozen times in various action comedy pictures. Audiences of the late Seventies loved their anti-authority redneck humor and made their early collaborations into box office smashes. ~ Karl Williams, Rovi Smokey and the Bandit 3 In this plotless, mindless chase movie, papa Big Enos and son Little Enos (Pat McCormick and Paul Williams) hire Cletus (Jerry Reed) to haul a Jaws-replica shark from Miami to Texas to advertise their new seafood restaurant. There is big money in it for Cletus if he can get to Texas on time. Buford T. Justice (Jackie Gleason) mistakes Cletus for his old nemesis the Bandit (Burt Reynolds, who only appears briefly at the end of the film), postpones h

Smokey and the Bandit Pursuit Pack $10.87 Rated: NASynopsis: "Smoky," aka Sheriff Buford T. Justice (Jackie Gleason), is the prospective father-in-law of unwilling bride Carrie (Sally Field). The Bandit (Burt Reynolds), a maverick race car driver, makes an $80,000 bet that he can transport a shipment of Coors beer from Texarkana, Texas to Atlanta within 28 hours. It's important to note that in 1977, it was illegal to sell the Coors brand east of the Mississippi River without a permit; if we don't note that, then the plot won't make sense at times. Already in danger of arrest from redneck lawmen like Buford T. Justice, Bandit furthers his chances at a stiff jail term when he offers a ride to Carrie, who hopes to escape her unwanted wedding to Justice's boy. The rest of the film is one long chase, not quite as subtle as a Road Runner/Coyote cartoon, not quite as restrained as a Three Stooges comedy. Universally panned by critics upon its first release, Smokey and the Bandit reaped something in the neighborhood of $50,000,000 at the box office. Hal EricksonIn this plotless, mindless chase movie, papa Big Enos and son Little Enos (Pat McCormick and Paul Williams) hire Cletus (Jerry Reed) to haul a Jaws-replica shark from Miami to Texas to advertise their new seafood restaurant. There is big money in it for Cletus if he can get to Texas on time. Buford T. Justice (Jackie Gleason) mistakes Cletus for his old nemesis the Bandit (Burt Reynolds, who only appears briefly at the beginning of the film), postpones his retirement, and with his inept son Junior (Mike Henry) in tow, chases Cletus across the South for a disconnected series of misadventures and bad jokes. Eleanor MannikkaFormer stuntman Hal Needham made his directorial debut with the first Smokey and the Bandit (1977) and repeated his success with the sequel, a virtual remake that substituted a live elephant for a truckload of beer. Burt Reynolds returns as law-defying anti-hero Bandit, now a washed-up alcoholic whose girlfriend Carrie (Sally Field) has left him. When a pair of eccentric, wealthy brothers named Big Enos (Pat McCormick) and Little Enos (Paul Williams) approach Bandit with an offer of work, he and trucker pal Cledus (Jerry Reed) jump at the chance. The gig involves transporting an elephant to the Republican National Convention in twenty-four hours. The wrinkle is that the pachyderm is about to give birth -- any minute. Enter "Doc" (Dom DeLuise) a bizarre medical man who joins the team to care for the expectant mother, and Sheriff Buford T. Justice (Jackie Gleason), who has not forgotten the humiliations that he suffered during Bandit's last "mission." Needham's films were instantly forgettable cocktails of car chases, car crashes, and lowbrow humor. Reynolds and Needham teamed up over a dozen times in various action comedy pictures. Audiences of the late Seventies loved their anti-authority redneck humor and made their early collaborations into box office smashes. Karl WilliamsPRODUCTION AND TECHNICAL NOTES:Aspect Ratio: Th

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